-Rupert Boneham from “Survivor” turns 48 today.  He was America’s favorite bearded gentle giant . . . until Chaz Bono came along

-Bruce Jenner said his daughters Kendall and Kylie might skip college. Then the back of his neck popped and his face slid off his skull.

-Our bodies actually make two kinds of fat:  white fat and brown fat.  White fat is much harder to get rid of, while brown has a much harder time hailing a cab

My guess is that most all Americans know this dude and think he’s a douche. It’s for sure you know the game show that he hosts. It’s been on TV forever and it’s been a slot game in casinos for a very long time, too. A new revelation explains why he and his co-host got so excited about those darn letters.

As you already know, he just ended his marriage with Heidi Klum.  See how life has changed for him with the Celebrity To Do List of Seal.

-8:00 A.M.:  Wake up.  Sadly notice my bed is empty, my kids are gone, and my calendar no longer says 1996.

-8:15 A.M.:  Morning routine:  shower, brush teeth, belt-sand face.

-9:00 A.M.:  Get mad at media reports saying I have a bad temper.

-9:10 A.M.:  Inform others they’re never going to survive unless they get a little crazy.

-10:30 A.M.:  Change status to “single” on Really-Messed-Up-Facebook.

-11:00 A.M.:  Balance ball on nose for fish.  Sorry.  Wrong “seal.”

-11:20 A.M.:  Pitch new series, “Dancing with the Scars”.

-11:30 A.M.:  Delight fans by playing one of my hit songs like “Crazy” or “Kiss from a Rose” or . . . well, pretty much just those two.

-12:05 P.M.:  Defeat Al Roker for title of Least Black-Sounding Black Guy in the World.

-1:00 P.M.:  Reminisce about time my team and I took out Bin Laden.

-1:25 P.M.:  Explain to confused autograph seekers I’m not the guy who just won “Dancing with the Stars”.

-2:35 P.M.:  Bump into proper English gentleman that speaks Ebonics.  Discuss switching accents.

-3:15 P.M.:  Visit florist in desperate attempt to find another flower to write a hit song about.

-4:00 P.M.:  Try to convince myself the world will still care who I am when I’m no longer married to a supermodel, despite the fact I haven’t had a song on the charts since 1997.

-5:00 P.M.:  Beat the hell out of a stupid reporter who asks about ridiculous rumors that I have a violent temper.

-7:45 P.M.:  Enter bar and ask, “Where all the white women at?” in proper English accent.

-11:00 P.M.:  Turn on TiVo and watch “30 Rock”.  Make fun of Tina Fey’s scar.

We’ve been hearing about it for a long, long, long time. Now here is your first look at the Farrelly Bros (Dumb and Dumber, There’s Something About Mary, Shallow Hal, etc…) take on “The Three Stooges”.

If you lived in the Inland Empire on January 17, 1994 you remember it. It was very early in the morning on this day 18 years ago that the Northridge earthquake happened. Now is a good time for you to look over that good old list – you know, earthquake preparedness. Eighteen years is a long time for us to go without a significant quake. I’ve got that list for you just ahead…

Nope, not Dodger Stadium…but close! It’s one of the replica fields at the new Big League Dreams facility in Perris Valley. You may have been to one of the other Big League Dreams locations around So. Cal. before, they’ve got ‘em in Jurupa Valley, Chino Hills, West Covina, and out in the desert in Cathedral City, but they just opened the new one out in Romoland this past Saturday…